Dancing with atheism

I feel like I'm coming out of the closet, but I refuse to be disingenuous.  I am not quite ready to completely denounce my faith, but I am moving towards that direction - little by little bit every day (Ha!).  Soon, I can picture myself being labeled as a lapsed Methodist or an apostate - very soon.

I guess it's fair to say that I've always found religion to be irrational. More than believing in the ideals, I wanted to believe in them.  And this was fine as long as I suppressed the deep inner questions occurring within myself.  Then, a few notable events took place in my life. 

First there was a pastor, whose name I shall not mention, whom I disagreed so much with.  I vividly remember listening to his sermons Sunday after Sunday, and repeatedly murmuring to myself, "this is some bullshit."

Then, all the doubts and questions I've been repressing came roaring back.  Do mainstream Christians think like this guy?  Moving to Korea was a big help, because I was able to closely scrutinize religion and my own faith in a rather impartial way.  After all, it is quite inconvenient for a regular church-goer to stop attending church, which can affect one's partiality. 

And then came the interview with Christopher Hitchens. 

I don't remember whether it was NPR or 60 minutes, or whether it was 2011 or 2012.  To be honest, I didn't think much of the interview at first, until I started contemplating about the subtitle of his book, god is not Great - religion poisons everything.  Religion poisons everything...

It was as if I was hit by a hammer.  I always saw religion as a sine qua non for human morality but I realized that in so many cases, it was the other way around.  Religion, or at least organized religion, makes ordinary people behave in strange ways, and it rationalizes those actions.  It's almost as if either organized religion or organizations acting like a religion is absolutely necessary in order to have large groups of people act in wicked and completely nonsensical fashion.

How many atheist suicide bombers have you read about?  Why is it that you're greeted with derision if you literally believe the story of Romulus, the eponymous founder of Rome, yet it's perfectly fine for millions of people to believe in talking snakes? (Romulus and his twin brother Remus, was raised by a wolf).  Why is it that people take unequivocal positions when it comes to Hitler and Pol Pot's genocides, yet genocide is perfectly permissible when it comes to killing Moabites and Canaanites? 

Basically, I stopped rationalizing religious behaviors and stories in the bible and tried to see them with an objective mind.  It was a rather astounding experience I have to say.  And Hitchens was right.  Organized religion is poisonous.  Religious zealots act in strange ways, and they have no problem justifying their unique actions. 

I'm just beginning to scratch the surface with some of the questions that I have.  Hopefully, I'll be able to express my views in an articulate, eloquent, and succinct fashion before my break is over.  Stay posted.